New Hypotheticals Made Logical

People ask “What if?” as part of life. Science asks “What if?” A few examples from this site:

1. What if another advanced species existed?
2. What if Earth were twice as big?
3. What if a giant asteroid hadn't wiped out the dinosaurs?
4. What if all the cats in the world suddenly died?
5. What if you only ate one type of food?

We call these hypotheticals and they are important to our lives. But comedy, too, uses hypotheticals. Funny people form a hypothetical then create something interesting based on the question. Then they answer the question (as seen in the links). 

1. What if a cat became a businessman? 
2. What if a man lived to be 2000 years old? 
3. What if airlines were extremely cheap?

The trick of asking “What if?” is to identify how to ask the questions. The grammar may look something like this:

What if	noun phrase	past verb	etc.	?
		was
		were

But, as usual, there’s more to this than just the grammar.

Step 1: Think of a hypothetical. This is surprisingly easy. You don’t have to worry here about logic. You can take the above hypotheticals, and mix and match different parts. Examples:

1. What if another species became businessmen?
2. What if all cats were 2000 years old?
3. What if airlines had wiped out the dinosaurs?
4. What if you ate only food that was extremely cheap?

Try this yourself. Look at these: http://iteslj.org/questions/whatif.html. Mix and match a few of these. You can also make up your own, if you like.

Step 2: Now think of a paragraph that summarizes the results. This time, take the illogical idea and make it seem logical. “If airlines had wiped out the dinosaurs, there would be fossilized remains of buildings that crashed into T-Rexes. Scientists would be finding wrecked planes with the materials.”

Step 3: Make a dialogue or script using ideas from your paragraph. You can change things if you like. The point is to explore the humor of the original idea.

Now, there's more to humor than that, but this gets people started. The important goal here is to ask a new "What if?" and explore the logic of the idea. If it's not so funny, don't worry. That will come in time and with experience.

And if you do try this in class, let me know how it works. OK, if it works. And if it doesn't, let me know that, too!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Roger

Christmas Parodies Step by Step

So, with the season of Christmas parodies, you may be wondering how to make a Christmas carol.

Yeah, I know this is probably a little late for your classes, but if it is late, you at least have something for you to do next Christmas. Thank you year-end obligations and Star Wars: The Force Awakens for making my holiday season interesting.

For fun, you may first want to look at some parodies of carols in English and perhaps use them.

One kind of parody is the changing of lyrics while keeping the rest of the song. For examples of this, classic parody lyrics from MAD Magazine are an excellent source. My favorite is this collection.

Another kind of parody is one not of a particular song but of the entire genre. This kind of parody is sometimes called a pastiche. A good example is Tom Lehrer’s “A Christmas Carol,” which mixes pastiche with brief song parodies. Hear Tom Lehrer sing it and consult the transcript of the entire bit he did.

Now you are in the Christmas parody spirit, so you can find some ways of approaching the parody.

One way to do this is to bring in the original and have students compare it to a parody. Find opposites or differences. I recommend going over the original on its own, to identify its overall feeling and attitude. Brainstorm how students can change the lyrics to make the song funny.

First, identify features of the song or genre you wish to parody. Look at the actual serious song first. You will notice key words and important themes. In the case of some Christmas songs, there is a lot about being old-fashioned and simple. Also, many songs have a soft touch to them. I recommend “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.”

Second, identify key phrases or words you want to imitate from the original. So, for example, look at the Mad Magazine parodies. “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing” becomes “Hark! The Carol Singers Choke.”

Bring in the parody and ask questions to the students to contrast it. In this case, they can make a simple chart. Example:

	“Hark, the Herald Angels Sing”	“Hark, the Carol Singers Choke”
Content	Angels singing to the baby Jesus	Carolers dealing with pollution
Emotions	Reverent and peaceful	Dark and unhealthy
Opposites	Soft and traditional	Harsh and modern
Etc.	Calls people to praise Jesus	Warns people of the dangers of pollution

(By the way, this is an example. If you would rather do this with a different song, then just notice the approach and pattern and apply this to that situation.)

Next, notice how the song is built around that phrase. It describes the whole song, which is all about dealing with pollution while singing Christmas songs. Often parodies revolve around the parody song’s title. A parody of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” called “Eat It,”  is a good example.

Then point out the features of a good song parody:

1. It’s never too long, just long enough to communicate the idea, then it finishes.

2. It imitates the structure, phrases, rhythm, and rhyme scheme as much as possible.

On the second point, do not ask them to be so close that they lose track of the premise of their song. The premise is more important than imitating the original song.

Now you can give them other famous Christmas songs that they may know already. From these, they can make a parody in small groups, in pairs, or solo.

Then, of course, the students can share their work.

And that's all for now. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

-- Roger

Spontaneous role-plays using a board game

Hi everyone,

Before we begin this one, a quick definition of role-play: spontaneous speech involving pretended situations. A role-play is not a written dialogue that students develop and perform.

Let's say you want students to do brief role-plays based on suggestions for scenes, but the students themselves are slow to come up with suggestions, or that they want the element of choice. What can you do?

Using the principle of yes-and, students can come up with short dialogues based on suggestions provided on a grid.

They will have some ability to choose among these suggestions. The suggestions can be three different kinds of nouns: persons (and their relationships), places, and things. Each row on the grid allows you to choose among three choices, but for higher levels, students may combine suggestions on each row.

They can play a cooperative board game using a hexagonal pattern. Students can roll a die or flip a coin. The coin they flip allows them to move one space or two. Students work in pairs to create a short scene of five lines: A B A B A.

The competitive part can be based on a teacher's judgment about which was the best scene, or the quickest scene where each line yes-ands the reality provided.

This version is best done in groups of four: a yellow team and a blue team. Each team is limited to that color.

This one is geared toward children, but the same thing could be adapted to older ages.

The element of choice is important. Allowing them different directions to move gives them greater control over this activity, as does allowing them a choice of the topic. Choice within structure allows students to take control of their learning.

Here's a sample dialogue of the sort of thing I have in mind. Let's say that a team has three choices: fisherman and fish, the Eiffel Tower, computers. They can choose one:

A: All right! I caught you!
B: Nooooo! Please let me go!
A: I can't. I'm very hungry. I need to eat you.
B: Please don't. I'll buy you a hamburger.
A: OK. Let's go to McDonald's.

Or they could combine two or three of these ideas:

A: So, what are you doing on top of the Eiffel Tower?
B: I'm fishing for French fish.
A: Sorry, but there's no lake down there. Did you check the Internet?
B: No, but I'll use my computer now. [Click click click.] Oh, sorry. No lake.
A: That's right. Get down from the tower and go to ta nice French river.

Of course, the examples won't look as clean as those done above. As long as each player affirms the other's reality, that's enough.

Don't be too picky about the rules. If it goes to six, seven, or eight lines, great! That's fine. Your goal is fluency and fun, not total surrender to artificial rules.

Some adaptations that are possible:

• Vocabulary learned before is put on the grid.
• Local or regional references provided, such as a city in the country the game is being played, or a local business well-known to students in that country.
• Longer time to come up with role-plays may be allowed for lower-level students.
• Grids that mix nouns, verbs, and adjectives.
• Grids for other parts of speech that create scenes.
• This can be used as an assessment of fluency for a speaking test, particularly a placement test.
• A point system if one kind of clue is more difficult than another.
• No grid at all -- just choosing based on the color, and performing for the other group.
• Providing a rubric that allows for evaluation of the students, taught ahead of time, of course.
• Having students rate the best performance or best sketch from the group.

Even trickier suggestions include:

• Allowing the opposing team to choose among the three choices on a particular square, but only if the students are confident with this game.
• Having student complete the blanks for their own team or for the opposing team or for the class as a whole.

Let me know if you have any questions or concerns about this activity.

-- Roger