New Hypotheticals Made Logical

People ask “What if?” as part of life. Science asks “What if?” A few examples from this site:

1. What if another advanced species existed?
2. What if Earth were twice as big?
3. What if a giant asteroid hadn't wiped out the dinosaurs?
4. What if all the cats in the world suddenly died?
5. What if you only ate one type of food?

We call these hypotheticals and they are important to our lives. But comedy, too, uses hypotheticals. Funny people form a hypothetical then create something interesting based on the question. Then they answer the question (as seen in the links). 

1. What if a cat became a businessman? 
2. What if a man lived to be 2000 years old? 
3. What if airlines were extremely cheap?

The trick of asking “What if?” is to identify how to ask the questions. The grammar may look something like this:

What if	noun phrase	past verb	etc.	?
		was
		were

But, as usual, there’s more to this than just the grammar.

Step 1: Think of a hypothetical. This is surprisingly easy. You don’t have to worry here about logic. You can take the above hypotheticals, and mix and match different parts. Examples:

1. What if another species became businessmen?
2. What if all cats were 2000 years old?
3. What if airlines had wiped out the dinosaurs?
4. What if you ate only food that was extremely cheap?

Try this yourself. Look at these: http://iteslj.org/questions/whatif.html. Mix and match a few of these. You can also make up your own, if you like.

Step 2: Now think of a paragraph that summarizes the results. This time, take the illogical idea and make it seem logical. “If airlines had wiped out the dinosaurs, there would be fossilized remains of buildings that crashed into T-Rexes. Scientists would be finding wrecked planes with the materials.”

Step 3: Make a dialogue or script using ideas from your paragraph. You can change things if you like. The point is to explore the humor of the original idea.

Now, there's more to humor than that, but this gets people started. The important goal here is to ask a new "What if?" and explore the logic of the idea. If it's not so funny, don't worry. That will come in time and with experience.

And if you do try this in class, let me know how it works. OK, if it works. And if it doesn't, let me know that, too!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Roger

Christmas Parodies Step by Step

So, with the season of Christmas parodies, you may be wondering how to make a Christmas carol.

Yeah, I know this is probably a little late for your classes, but if it is late, you at least have something for you to do next Christmas. Thank you year-end obligations and Star Wars: The Force Awakens for making my holiday season interesting.

For fun, you may first want to look at some parodies of carols in English and perhaps use them.

One kind of parody is the changing of lyrics while keeping the rest of the song. For examples of this, classic parody lyrics from MAD Magazine are an excellent source. My favorite is this collection.

Another kind of parody is one not of a particular song but of the entire genre. This kind of parody is sometimes called a pastiche. A good example is Tom Lehrer’s “A Christmas Carol,” which mixes pastiche with brief song parodies. Hear Tom Lehrer sing it and consult the transcript of the entire bit he did.

Now you are in the Christmas parody spirit, so you can find some ways of approaching the parody.

One way to do this is to bring in the original and have students compare it to a parody. Find opposites or differences. I recommend going over the original on its own, to identify its overall feeling and attitude. Brainstorm how students can change the lyrics to make the song funny.

First, identify features of the song or genre you wish to parody. Look at the actual serious song first. You will notice key words and important themes. In the case of some Christmas songs, there is a lot about being old-fashioned and simple. Also, many songs have a soft touch to them. I recommend “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.”

Second, identify key phrases or words you want to imitate from the original. So, for example, look at the Mad Magazine parodies. “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing” becomes “Hark! The Carol Singers Choke.”

Bring in the parody and ask questions to the students to contrast it. In this case, they can make a simple chart. Example:

	“Hark, the Herald Angels Sing”	“Hark, the Carol Singers Choke”
Content	Angels singing to the baby Jesus	Carolers dealing with pollution
Emotions	Reverent and peaceful	Dark and unhealthy
Opposites	Soft and traditional	Harsh and modern
Etc.	Calls people to praise Jesus	Warns people of the dangers of pollution

(By the way, this is an example. If you would rather do this with a different song, then just notice the approach and pattern and apply this to that situation.)

Next, notice how the song is built around that phrase. It describes the whole song, which is all about dealing with pollution while singing Christmas songs. Often parodies revolve around the parody song’s title. A parody of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” called “Eat It,”  is a good example.

Then point out the features of a good song parody:

1. It’s never too long, just long enough to communicate the idea, then it finishes.

2. It imitates the structure, phrases, rhythm, and rhyme scheme as much as possible.

On the second point, do not ask them to be so close that they lose track of the premise of their song. The premise is more important than imitating the original song.

Now you can give them other famous Christmas songs that they may know already. From these, they can make a parody in small groups, in pairs, or solo.

Then, of course, the students can share their work.

And that's all for now. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

-- Roger

Spontaneous role-plays using a board game

Hi everyone,

Before we begin this one, a quick definition of role-play: spontaneous speech involving pretended situations. A role-play is not a written dialogue that students develop and perform.

Let's say you want students to do brief role-plays based on suggestions for scenes, but the students themselves are slow to come up with suggestions, or that they want the element of choice. What can you do?

Using the principle of yes-and, students can come up with short dialogues based on suggestions provided on a grid.

They will have some ability to choose among these suggestions. The suggestions can be three different kinds of nouns: persons (and their relationships), places, and things. Each row on the grid allows you to choose among three choices, but for higher levels, students may combine suggestions on each row.

They can play a cooperative board game using a hexagonal pattern. Students can roll a die or flip a coin. The coin they flip allows them to move one space or two. Students work in pairs to create a short scene of five lines: A B A B A.

The competitive part can be based on a teacher's judgment about which was the best scene, or the quickest scene where each line yes-ands the reality provided.

This version is best done in groups of four: a yellow team and a blue team. Each team is limited to that color.

This one is geared toward children, but the same thing could be adapted to older ages.

The element of choice is important. Allowing them different directions to move gives them greater control over this activity, as does allowing them a choice of the topic. Choice within structure allows students to take control of their learning.

Here's a sample dialogue of the sort of thing I have in mind. Let's say that a team has three choices: fisherman and fish, the Eiffel Tower, computers. They can choose one:

A: All right! I caught you!
B: Nooooo! Please let me go!
A: I can't. I'm very hungry. I need to eat you.
B: Please don't. I'll buy you a hamburger.
A: OK. Let's go to McDonald's.

Or they could combine two or three of these ideas:

A: So, what are you doing on top of the Eiffel Tower?
B: I'm fishing for French fish.
A: Sorry, but there's no lake down there. Did you check the Internet?
B: No, but I'll use my computer now. [Click click click.] Oh, sorry. No lake.
A: That's right. Get down from the tower and go to ta nice French river.

Of course, the examples won't look as clean as those done above. As long as each player affirms the other's reality, that's enough.

Don't be too picky about the rules. If it goes to six, seven, or eight lines, great! That's fine. Your goal is fluency and fun, not total surrender to artificial rules.

Some adaptations that are possible:

• Vocabulary learned before is put on the grid.
• Local or regional references provided, such as a city in the country the game is being played, or a local business well-known to students in that country.
• Longer time to come up with role-plays may be allowed for lower-level students.
• Grids that mix nouns, verbs, and adjectives.
• Grids for other parts of speech that create scenes.
• This can be used as an assessment of fluency for a speaking test, particularly a placement test.
• A point system if one kind of clue is more difficult than another.
• No grid at all -- just choosing based on the color, and performing for the other group.
• Providing a rubric that allows for evaluation of the students, taught ahead of time, of course.
• Having students rate the best performance or best sketch from the group.

Even trickier suggestions include:

• Allowing the opposing team to choose among the three choices on a particular square, but only if the students are confident with this game.
• Having student complete the blanks for their own team or for the opposing team or for the class as a whole.

Let me know if you have any questions or concerns about this activity.

-- Roger

Classroom Activity: Yes, And…

Yes, And…

Purpose: to develop listening, discourse skills, and cooperation in conversation; to learn the fundamental principle of improv (improvisational theater).

Students: Low Intermediate or higher.

Time: 5-15 minutes.

Procedure:

Students will pretend to be two people outside the classroom. Give the students a suggestion for a location the students have been to, such as a department store. You can also do this from a student suggestion.

Explain that two students will start talking in the scene as two people from a suggestion for a location. The first person can say anything based on the suggestion. The second person says “Yes, and….”

When you say “Yes,” you agree with the reality of the scene. When you say “And,” you are adding to the reality of the scene. For example, Student A says, pantomiming a fishing rod, “Beautiful day for fishing.” Student B says, “Yes, and there’s a fish biting right now!” Student A says, “Yes, and it’s a shark!” Student B says, “Yes, and…” until the scene ends.

Provide the restrictions. You cannot say “No” and you cannot say “But.” So, discourage students from asking questions, since “What is it?” and “What do you think?” do not add to the scene. Also, discourage more obvious negations. For example, if Student B says, “We’re not fishing, we’re…” or some other line that denies the reality that Student A established, then that hurts the scene. Also discourage “Yes, but,” such as “Yes, and it’s going to rain,” since your scene partner already established that it was a beautiful day.

Remind them that it can be the first idea they think of. It is better to go fast than be right.
Do this for three to five lines of dialogue, then move on to the next partners.

Watching and coaching: Coach them on different matters. Some students will have trouble being specific. Other students may talk about scenery and their characters do not do anything. Some have trouble ending a scene. However, the most important concept is “Yes, and,” so as long as they do that, praise them. If they have trouble there, comment after the scene, and give them a different suggestion to start again.

Caution: Emphasize that this is only three or five lines of dialogue. Make it fun. Avoid over-coaching. Save coaching for after the activity, if any.

Variation: You can review the exercise by going through the same five-line scene again, this time without saying “Yes, and.” This may be important to establish that the exercise applies to all scene work and all conversations.

For more support: If students need more context or practice before the activity, you can ask for three- to five-line scenes first, without “Yes, and,” then add “Yes, and” as a way of making these scenes better.

Advanced learners: If students are already acquainted with the principle of “Yes, and,” and if the phrase is unnecessary for them, they can do the exercise without requiring the phrase.

Warm-Ups: Establish this as a regular aspect of class. Turn this into a warm-up. Your scene ideas could be based on situations described in the textbook of that day. These can be written on the board for a large class, with students choosing which items to do.

Acknowledgment: Thank you to Del Close and Charna Halpern, authors of Truth in Comedy: The Manual for Improvisation, for explaining this principle well and for providing interesting activities.

Review That Awful Movie Here

“This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. How will I ever survive?”

Make it a humorous experience.

DISCUSSION

What was an awful movie that you saw? What did you think was stupid about it?

Make a list of scenes, dialogue, or actions you thought were bad during the whole film.

ESSAY TOPIC

Choose a particular movie you saw, one that you thought was entertaining but not thoughtful. This could be an action film, a superhero film, or any film meant for light entertainment. Review a film of light entertainment as if it were the smartest, most intellectual film ever made.

POSSIBLE CHOICES

§  Films such as Ant-Man, Jurassic World, Mad Max: Fury Road, Fantastic Four, Pitch Perfect, Minions, Spectre, etc.

§  Any movie directed by Michael Bay

§  Any movie with Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson or Vin Diesel

TECHNIQUES

Treat the thoughtless entertainment as if it were intellectual or intelligent. For example:

§  What was the deeper meaning of that car chase?

§  What was the philosophical message made by the action scenes with guns and so on?

§  What is the symbolism of this scene or that character?

LANGUAGE

1. You can talk or write using big words, as a professor might talk or write. Don’t say “Batman lives in Gotham City.” Say instead “Batman resides in Gotham City.”

Need fancy words for regular words? Use this website.

2. Some key words or expressions:

§  But of course

§  Indeed,…

§  deconstruction

§  I believe Chomsky would have said…

§  I think you have to define “X” (a particular word – your choice)

3. Any French words about film used in English. Here are some good ones:

§  mise en scene – the arrangement of scenery and stage properties in a play or in a film

§  auteur – a filmmaker whose personal influence and artistic control over a movie are so great that the filmmaker is regarded as the author of the movie

§  oeuvre – the works of a painter, composer, or author regarded collectively, e.g., "the complete oeuvre of Mozart"

Thank you, Google results, for the definitions.

Now, it’s your turn. Write it down, and post it to this website. This is going to be fun!

Roger

Drafting: The Birds, the Bees, the Schools

My calendar for essay topics was made years ago, and so it's sometimes a surprise when I look at what I am supposed to write today. Today, I will educate myself by accident.

Today's topic for discussion is this: Should sex education be taught in public schools? Why or why not?

Essay topic, you're asking the wrong guy. I presume you would want someone who thinks he is educated on the topic to discuss it. But I guess that's the point.

Do we really want teachers giving us ideas we bring into the bedroom? Mind you, I know wonderful teachers, but I'm inclined to think they wouldn't be so helpful here.

I know that sounds racist against teachers, but 1) teachers are not a race, and 2) I'm a teacher by profession, as well. It's not as if I'm criticizing people I don't know well.

How would you even grade the understanding of sex? Short answer? Multiple choice? What if you make a mistake? Does the teacher correct you with a red pen? I don't know about you, but I think it would be embarrassing to walk into the locker room with red marks for my mistakes. I couldn't look at the other guys.

In high school, we had a health teacher who probably did some sex education. Her name was Mrs. Looker. She wasn't a looker. I mean, she was nice, but she was in her fifties, I think. But she wasn't hot twenty-something -- no low-cut dress, no leather mini-skirt, no ruby-red lipstick. I mean, I would want a sex-ed teacher in high school to be, well, inspirational. We want our teachers to inspire, right?

OK, so one day Mrs. Looker had up nap in class. Actually nap. We all laid down on mats on the floor and she described mind tricks to get ourselves to fall asleep. That probably would have been the perfect time to tell us about the birds and the bees (an American phrase for the sexual basics every young adolescent needs to know).

But no, nothing happened. She stayed away from controversy. So I had to learn about the birds and the bees from the mean streets of a Kansas City suburb.

The girls didn't. One day, they had the boys go to one class and the girls go to another. We boys saw a film about a football game. The girls saw something secret, some women-only thing. If they too saw a football film, I'll be totally shocked.

I suppose a little in health class would be enough, provided we can Google the mysterious questions in our free time. Just the bare minimum: How to prevent disease and how to prevent politicians from being born. I'm open to more possibilities, though.

But back then, I wish I had a different source to go to. I couldn't go to my parents because I didn't think they knew that much about sex. This is partly because my parents' sex led to me having three brothers and one sister. To a horny 16-year-old, that seems to miss the point.

So, what about the teacher? No. What about a counselor? No -- not me. I don't want someone stroking his chin as he listens to my incoherent awkwardness. What about the principal? Dear Lord, no. Under no circumstances. And friends? They were in the same boat, or the same shower, or the same -- never mind.

There's only one source I would have trusted: comic book superheroes. When I was in high school, there could have been a Batman comic where the Dark Knight came to the rescue of another sixteen year old. He could have taken a condom out of his utility belt, handed it to that awkward boy, and disappeared into the darkness before our school principal showed up. I would have learned about condoms and disease and things from a voice I trusted. It's too bad Batman never had a normal romantic relationship, but the concept of normal sex for 16-year-olds may be a bit difficult for even geniuses to understand.

And this would privatize sex education, using superheroes. It would certainly change merchandising.

OK, that's my spontaneous answer. I don't believe I have come up with any solid answers, but I have enough to trigger other thoughts.

I felt embarrassed writing it. I even felt guilty, talking about a teacher who has since passed away. But hey, I have this blog, and I gave myself this assignment, and that was the topic for today, and I need to face the fearful topics most of all. I hope her family would not be insulted to read this entry. 

I held back, actually. There are multiple ideas for each of these points, largely by asking "What if?" But with this topic, and with an international audience of people I don't know, I didn't want to treat this topic in a dirty way. At least I wasn't comfortable doing so just yet. So I found myself focusing on the general insecurity of youth, at least my youth, to make this meaningful for me.

In the future, I will revisit this topic, but I will start over, using some of the ideas here, and consider it with less censorship. Then I'll post my response again, probably under a different title.

Do you have comments? For example, how would you answer the question? Please continue the conversation below.

Thank you for reading yet another installment of Let's Humor!

Lesson: So Adjective That

Finish the joke:

Our teacher is so dumb that

1. she doesn’t know a lot.

2. she isn’t smart.

3. she forgot her name.

I’ll give you a clue: It’s a joke using exaggeration. To exaggerate is to say something as better or worse, or more intense or less intense in some way, than it really is.

Exaggeration helps you add extra strength to your communication. Men do not know personally the pain women go through when they give birth. The comedian Carol Burnett described labor pains this way:

“Grab your bottom lip, and pull it over your head.”

Of course, we can’t do that. That’s what makes it an exaggeration.

So the correct answer is C.

Let’s exaggerate using so adjective that, and we will make at least one paragraph.

Part 1: Match the numbers with the letters to make good jokes.

1.       Mom’s hearing is so powerful that ___ 2.       Curtis is so fat that ___ 3.       Your apartment is so dirty that ___ 4.       I am so hungry that ___	A.    everybody gets sick when they visit you. B.    he can’t fit inside a stadium. C.     I can eat a horse. D.    he can hear butterflies flying.
1.       Medusa was so ugly that ___ 2.       The restaurant is so expensive that ___ 3.       Roger’s head is so shiny that ___ 4.       My teacher’s voice is so loud that ___	A.    Bill Gates can’t buy food there. B.    his friends always wear sunglasses. C.     people turned to stone when they see her. D.    she wakes up dead people.

Do you know the answers? Write them in the replies!

Part 2: Study the sentences above and the grammar below.

Noun phrase	am is are was were	so adjective that	subject	verb	(etc.)
Clause about the noun phrase			Clause about how adjective the noun phrase is
To make a joke that exaggerates, follow this advice:
The first part should not be funny. It’s just normal. Don’t make this funny.			The second part is surprising. It exaggerates the first part. It is funny.

Part 3: Make three funny sentences using the so adjective that grammar.

Ideas

old big small long late hard strong

hot cold popular traditional difficult intelligent dangerous

unusual famous careful boring strict angry exciting

friendly curious embarrassed mad nervous suspicious tall

Part 4: Choose the funniest sentence. Use it to make a short story. Try to make it funny.

Example:

I was walking down the street when I met my smart friend Roger. His brain is so busy that he can’t grow any hair on his head.  So when I saw him, I put on sunglasses. I was going to a job interview, so he gave me advice for the interview. My smart friend left and I waited for the bus, but I still was wearing sunglasses. It was so dark that I didn’t see the bus. I missed the job interview! Oh no!

What do you think? Please reply to this message. Let’s talk!

I'm Scratching You Out of My Head

Today's topic for discussion: What would cause you to end a friendship? Write about it on this blog.

How? Think of friends you have had in the past. Think of the things some of them have done to you. Think of times you were angry with your friends. Think of times your friend was angry or unfair with you. Think of times you may have done something to end a friendship.

Open up. Write about it.

Why talk about this? Well, it connects with you honestly. It connects with the pain you had. 

Pain. Yes, pain. Part of humor is to discover painful topics and find ways to heal the pain through laughter.

I'll go first.

When I was young, I have a friend named Dave. The two of us collected comics together in elementary school. He was a very strange kid. Our friendship lasted only a month, because he was a strange guy.

Don't get me wrong. I was a strange kid, too. And yes, still a strange adult in some ways. But he was much stranger than me, which sounds scientifically impossible, but it is true. I was amateur strange; he was professionally strange. I couldn't compete with that.

Sometimes my statements made him threaten to end the friendship. He would take his finger, scratch him forehead, and say, "I'm scratching you out of my head." For the record, memory doesn't work that day. Imagine if he had continued this habit into adulthood, how long a scar he would have on his forehead. Either he would be an outcast from society or popular with women turned on by scars. I could not say which.

So, anyway, back to Dave. I don't remember what exactly happened, but I decided to take my comic books home from his room. He threw into an angry fit. He took a belt and hit me on the top of my head. I was in tears. I couldn't do anything.

His parents eventually came into the room, apologized, and seemed to look at me with the face that said, "He's our fault. Sorry, kid." So I took my comic books and left.

Ouch.

I think what would cause me to end a friendship is if that friend somehow betrayed me, like Dave did. He was difficult to deal with, perhaps on purpose, so he could control the friendship in a weird way. He also got me into Marvel Comics, which meant I would lose even more money in my life. I think he also hurt my sense of friendship for a long time. Or maybe I let him do that. Or something.

I just wrote that without any knowledge of where it would go. I should do this more often. Thank you, blog. Thank you, readers.

Now back to comedy. My goal was to find something humorous somewhere. I had only one or two ideas that were funny. Worried? Not me. Perhaps I can find more connections, more comparisons, more ideas that take a little bit of the pain away.

It was once said that comedy is pain plus time. You identify something that is painful to you, you deal with it, and you find something to laugh about. Maybe you won't get on stage and talk about Dave, the weird kid who made you cry in fifth grade. But you can get more in touch with the humorous side that needs humor to continue in life.

So yes, back to your homework. What would cause you to end a friendship? Write about it on this blog.